Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Now Playing: Spongebob's Truth or Square


I have no problem sacrificing for my child. As every gaming parent knows, there comes a time when it's necessary to play a game just because the kid has his heart set on it. (Besides, it's not like anything else came out this week.) Still, sacrifice is one thing... Spongebob's Truth or Square is bordering on cruel and unusual punishment.

The shoestring plot of the game involves series villain Plankton forcing Spongebob to relive some of the more memorable moments from the TV series. But this time there's a twist: Instead of being funny, those scenes are now frustrating.

The interface is built for a kid. It's colorful and nostalgic, with the characters and settings from the TV show very well re-created, and it's fun and easy to explore the world and accept missions.


But the gameplay itself isn't built for a kid - not because it's especially difficult but because it's so poorly designed that it's almost unplayable. The 3D camera hates you, your family, and everything you stand for, and seems to actively try to ruin the game for you by always managing to lock into the worst possible position. That's made even more frustrating by the fact that there's a good bit of platforming in the game, all of which requires surprisingly precise jumps. On top of that, the sequences often require you to finish before a countdown expires, or you'll be forced to start over.

My 6-year-old, who is a huge fan of the show and has no trouble with far more sophisticated video games, gave up on playing it within minutes. There are segments that even I struggled to finish. Eventually, my son asked to stop watching the game because he was so upset by how often Spongebob was dying.

I can't imagine who on earth thought this would be a good game for a kid, but they should be sent to Davy Jones' Locker.

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